One of the things that I’m so adamant about is living by your values so you have the freedom to choose what you love and want to do with your life. I try to live by this, sometimes it’s very hard especially when you have a partner with different values, but it’s always important to remember your true core. This is what I always tell my clients because I know that no matter what is going on in life, if you live by your values you will still be happy even if things are going exactly the way you want it to.
Today, I would like to introduce an amazing tool to you that can use to create balance, find your values, and feel fulfilled in your life. This tool is called the Wheel of Life. As a life coach, I believe that this is one of the most important tools you can use to figure out:
How balanced is your life?
Why does it look this way?
Do you want to make any changes in your life?
If even one area of your life is off, it can seep into other areas of your life and cause unhappiness.
The main goal is to figure out how satisfied you are and how you can bring more joy into your life. If I just ask the question, “what brings you joy”? You might not know the answer but this exercise will get you one step closer!
The Wheel of Life Instructions
To complete this exercise, all you need is a piece of paper and a pen. I want this exercise to be as easy as possible so all you need is a piece of paper, nothing fancy because I know many times, you’ll read this post on your phone (especially me!) and not on a computer near a printer. So any paper, napkin, notebook, etc. will do! Begin by drawing a circle with a dot in the middle of the circle like this:
OK, now look at the following categories: family, friendship, home, relationship/love, money, career, health, faith, charity, passions, and other. As you go through each section on the wheel of life you’re going to rate it. For this rating system, you have two choices:
- Use numbers between 1 to 10. 10 being the highest or happiest.
- Use happy, sad, or so-so faces.
If you are more analytical, then numbers might work best for you. If you are more visual, then faces might work best for you. It doesn’t matter what you choose, just get started. There is no right or wrong answer with the wheel of life, just take time to figure out what makes you happy, which area needs work and what is important to you.
Here’s a breakdown of the categories:
How connected are you to your family and do you want more time with them? Do you like your relationship with them currently?
How important to you is a community? Do you feel that you have a good relationship with them? Do you want anything to change in this area? For example, do you want to see your friends more? less?
How is your home life? Is it bringing you joy? Do you feel happiness when you are in certain rooms in your house? Do you like your neighborhood?
Relationships or love:
Do you feel fulfilled in your current relationship? Are you in a relationship that you want to be in? If you’re not, do you want one to be in one?
How satisfied are you with your finances? Do you feel that you are going in the right direction? Do you feel that you are bringing in enough money to do the things that fulfill you?
Are you satisfied with where your career is today? Do you feel like you’re on the right track career-wise? Is there anything that you feel is lacking in your career?
How satisfied are you with your health today? Is there anything you need to change? Do you need to gain weight? Do you need to lose weight? Do you want more energy? Do you want more sleep?
Faith or spirituality:
Do you feel like you are connected with your own spirituality? Do you want to feel closer to God or whoever you believe it? Is religion a big part of your life? Do you feel like something is lacking or are you satisfied with your level of spirituality?
Do you feel that you are in a giving place in your life? Do you feel like you want to give back more to your community or the world? Do you want to give back via money or time? Are you satisfied in this area?
How satisfied are you with your hobbies? Are you doing any activities that you are passionate about? Do you feel that you are doing things that are making you a happier person?
This is anything that is important to you that I didn’t list on our wheel of life. I couldn’t list everything but I listed the typical ones that applies to the majority of my clients during my coaching sessions.
Divide your Wheel of Life into sections listed above. After dividing the sections, go through and rate each category from 1 to 10 or use your happy faces as we discussed. Here’s a picture of both so you get the idea.
After rating each section, it’s time to look at the wheel and reflect on it. You will notice that some areas look very fulfilled while other areas needs improvement. Remember do not judge yourself and just look at your wheel of life – you should come from a place of neutrality. This is all about learning who you are, what you like and what’s important to you. It’s not about being disappointed or beating yourself up because you didn’t get all 10s.
As you do this refection, note what your thoughts are and any insights. How do you feel when you look at your wheel? Do you feel happy? Surprised? Sad? Note these answers because it’s very important to figuring out what is going to eventually make you the happiest you can be. Then begin to think about what stands out for you? And what areas you would like to change the most?
After self-reflection, I urged you to go a little bit deeper on the wheel of life. Pick one area that you feel needs improvement and you are READY to change. You can do this by asking some of the following questions:
If this area was a 10, how would it look to you?
What do you need to do to change in this category to rate it a 10 or only happy faces?
Can you do anything in the next 30 days to improve this area?
What two steps can you take this week to start improving your life in this category so that next year this time you will have a 10?
Remember to just choose one category unless it overlaps because you’re more likely to follow through. You should review your wheel of life every six months and see what progress you have made and make adjustments as you go. I hope this is a great starting point for goal setting and growth. In my next post, I will teach you the beginning steps of creating a goal and following through on it.
If you have become a victim of self-sabotaging behaviors, it is important to get over this routine as it will not do any wonders for you or your life. Some of the common self-sabotaging behaviors include having a mindset of not accepting change, procrastinating, not being able to go and sell out in the market and other rigid beliefs about yourself.
All of these self-sabotaging behaviors are a result of the story that we are telling ourselves. We, as humans, are full of excuses and that is why we keep ourselves from doing things that will do us good or simply doing things that will benefit us in the short and long run both.
Therefore, if you want to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors, it is important to change your mindset.
You can change your mindset in the following ways:
Role Model Only The Best People In Your Field
Try to look for the best people and then model what they are trying to do and what they do right. Think about adopting their mindset and follow them! This way, you can improve your mindset and in fact, have a mindset of some of the best leaders in your field.
Even though you cannot replicate the mind of other individuals, you can still get a lot of important advice regarding them, their thinking process in general and learn from the best (in general).
One of my favorite places to find role models is on the Ted Talk website.
Look At Your Current Beliefs And Change Them
Moreover, it is also important that you examine your current beliefs if you want to change your mind set. The beliefs that you have, are they doing you any good or are they self-limiting you? The whole idea is that you have to identify these important things and then change them. These self-limiting beliefs are the major holdback in your day to day life and they are constantly there working in your subconscious mind so it is important you change them.
You have to ask yourself some important questions and then change those beliefs in general. You have to make new affirmations if you want to change your belief system.
Protect Your Mindset Fully
In order to change your mindset, you have to protect it fully. You have to protect yourself against bad information and keep your confidence stay and put. If you want to move ahead, you have to look for ways to improve yourself but it is also important that you protect your current mindset completely so that other self-deprecating behaviors don’t hurt you.
One tip is to stop checking out the news everyday. Look at a site like The Skimm which offers up a roundup of news 5 days a week. You will still be up to date but it will be less wear on you since you are not visually watching bad news.
Another tip that might help you is to try journaling, just a quick shift everyday can help you change your mindset. Get started here.
Find Your Voice
Lastly, if you want to change your mindset, you have to find your own voice. In the book the 8th habit by Stephen Covey, he wrote that ‘your voice is what expresses you 100 percent uniquely.’ You are who you are and your voice is a part of your mindset. You should stay open and be flexible if you want to change your mindset and find your inner voice to find and build integrity.
Changing your mindset is the best way of putting solidity into your actions. You might think a lot of things in your head such as why am I going down this road, why am I thinking something, etc. but this is absolutely wrong approach. You have to change your mindset to change your beliefs and move ahead in life and if you are willing to do this, some of the steps identified above can help!